Before I got the job, I’ve been told that it would be exciting & fun because I get to travel & meet new people.  So far, the farthest provinces I’ve been are Quebec & Winnipeg.  That’s not very exciting or fun.  Especially not in Winnipeg, where the West Jet rep would not let us on because the flight left without us since everyone else was there and/or our luggage would not make it to the plane anyway.  So we were forced to pay the extra $$ to get onto the next flight back to Toronto, only the next flight got cancelled because the plane crashed into some birds on its way into the Winnipeg airport.  !!*arg*!!  Really, you never thought this could happen to you, but it actually can.  I didn’t believe it at first, but it happened to me.  One of my friends actually called me to see if I was lying.

“No, I’m not lying, why would I need to lie about this?!”

“I don’t know!  It just seems funny,”

“Do I sound one bit amused?!”

“*chuckle* No no…you don’t, you sound upset,”

*roll eyes*

Looking back at the entries I have posted before, it dawned to me that a lot of them were complaints about stupid people, and very few were actually happy, if any at all.  But the new friend I made in Winnipeg was right: Winnipeg was not so bad [aside from the airport incident].  I met a lot of new people, dealt with some racist & psychotic people, spoke up & shoved my comments in someone’s face [which I should have done so a long time ago], and called my “family store” a lot less often.  I knew I was happier on the Winnipeg project.

Though after the 3 weeks in Winnipeg, I felt like my 2 weeks here in Ancaster-Hamilton has taken me back to square one.  Cried a lot less, though was still bottling up all my anger towards ignorant people inside & ended up spending a lot of time on my phone, venting to friends.  I look at the new friend from the team: he’s doing so well, he gets along with everybody on his team just fine.  Why am I not?  Am I really that difficult to get along with?  Or am I too “proper”?  Or maybe even though I have accepted & had put up with the ill-manners of these people, they have not accepted me for who I am?

Some things are better with age…

…just like fine wine.

Really…why are guys so immature?  Instead of thinking about what they have done wrong, they just try to turn the table around and play the blaming game, that it was “not their fault.”

So person “Z” asked me last night on MSN if I was angry with him.  Well, I guess I would have to give “Z” some credit: that he is not completely stupid and does not sense that I am angry with him.  So anyway, of course I was angry with him because the week before, he completely went against his words of not teasing me about “Y” and said to me, “Why are you looking at the prizes anyway?  It’s not like as if “Y” had won any tickets tonight anyway, and I’m not “Y”,”

Great.  So not only did he ate his own words [and shit it out on the other end], he just said that 1) I’m spoiled and 2) I’m some sort of gold-digger.

It just doesn’t stop there either.  After hanging out at that place, the group decided to go elsewhere to sit & chat.  I didn’t want to offer anyone a ride not because I’m a mean person, but it’s not like as if I was “extra” close with any of them.  So on our way there, I had cut off a car, and realized that it was person “X’s” car.  It was dark, and from the silhouette, I thought it was “Z” who was in the same car with him.  I had run the red light to turn left into the plaza so I was sitting in the parking lot for a while.  After a while, I thought I would call to find out where “X” & “Z” were.  Well, since I did not have “X’s” number, I called “Z.”

Biggest mistake ever.

“Why are you calling?”

Well, no shit, Einstein.  Really!  Just why would I call him?!  I was about to explain but then he cuts me off and said, “Okay, thank you for calling,” click.  

Okay, that was so rude.  And no, it was not funny.

So at the other place, he actually had the nerves to say to me, “Oh c’mon, Iris, are you really not going to talk to me all night?”

Try the whole fucking week.

And it’s absolutely hilarious that it took well over a week before he actually asked me if I was angry at him.  Not only that, I don’t think it’s like as if he had actually thought about his own actions, thinking about what he may have done to get me so upset, but he just asked for me to tell him.  For fuck’s sake, I have told him before that I don’t want him to tease me about “Y” anymore because it just gets annoying and it’s not like as if we’ve got something going on anyway.

And just for notes, boys, if you are going to apologize to someone, least you can do is actually find out what you’re apologizing for first, then genuinely own up to it that you have done something wrong, before you actually apologize for it.  And while you’re at it, don’t further piss off the person you’re trying to apologize to by saying to her that she needs to “put aside her foolish pride” because it’s not the pride that you have just hurt, it’s the person herself.

Let this be a lesson to be well learned by all the ladies out there.  Important points of this lesson:

1.  Boys our age are immature enough as it is.  Trying to communicate with someone who is even younger is simply asking for trouble.  No matter how mature they appear to be, underneath all the complex words coming out between their lips is the child within.

2.  Don’t get angry right from the start to the point where you don’t talk to him.  Let him know first that you’re upset with him.  Document it well.  Because chances are, they are going to piss you off for the same reason, and then you will be able to tell him to fuck off & be angry with him because you have already told him so.

3.  As much as they don’t like to admit to it, boys do PMS.  Just that they have their own version.  Pfft.  And boys thought that only chicks are moody?  They just haven’t reflected enough on their own actions.

Good ol’ Xanga.  Always letting me bitch my heart out.

It’s funny how at least 99% of my posts are written & posted because I am extremely pissed off.  It’s not exception this time I guess.

I never thought I would regret anything I do in life.  After all, I consider myself as someone who thinks thoroughly before doing something so that I would avoid mishaps later on down the road.  As far as I can remember, I have had only one regret, but he is now long gone in the past & thank God I haven’t seen him since we graduated from high school because he really sucked…even as a friend.  Now that I have graduated from university, I have come to the realization that I have a second regret: attending York University.

My 4 years at York didn’t totally suck big time.  It first started off really quiet because I did not know anybody & I wasn’t the type to just turn to the person next to me in lecture and start talking to them.  **Secret 1 revealed: Iris is not as outgoing as everyone thinks she is!**  As the years progressed, I met a group of really cool guys from a program that I’m not even in, and together, we went to join the badminton club, where I met an unforgettable friend: hummer!  I made a few friends in my own program, but they weren’t the type of friends I would hang out with on the weekends because in my program, everyone’s incredibly smart & competitive.  One of the songs on Nelly Furtado’s latest album, Loose, is titled All Good Things Must Come To An End, I think that’s all about the good thing I got out of York.

I started my final year with a positive outlook, but it turned out to be one hell of a nightmare.  I was excited about being on the exec council for the badminton club, even though I did not completely like everyone I met on the council.  Some, I thought were friendly at the beginning but then they turned out to be just putting on a show.  However, what was worse was that I don’t even think they were capable of holding an office because all they really cared about was just play on what they dubbed the “King’s court” because they were 1) competitive, 2) really good @ playing the sport and 3) guys.  Being the only other girl on the council, I ended up doing a lot of the paper work, like as if I was supposed to do so just because I was the only girl who would show up on the meeting days.  I had asked the other girl why she doesn’t show up, she told me her reasoning, and I wouldn’t push her any further because I understand where she was coming from.  I became the go-between for her and the rest of the guys on the council.

As the year was coming to an end, it was time for the annual elections.  Sometimes, I wonder why the constitution for the club was written because when you have a group of boys together, they would think it’s not necessary to follow rules.  And being the boys that they were, competition arose and the election turned into a popularity contest.  Children were running for positions on the council, and like true politicians, were saying things that their latter actions would not match up to.

Everyone loves the game Monopoly, right?  Ever thought why?  Because people are power hungry, hence the word monopolize.  When you have a group of friends running a fully established club, friends would eventually become enemies because of internal competition, backstabbing, and “secret” alliances.  And when you have a group of buddies running a club, it’s bound to head towards uptown clique.

I wonder where I went wrong?  I organized a meeting for the old and new execs to get together, passing on the important “housekeeping” stuff.  Yes, paperwork is boring, but someone has got to do it because you need to be legitimately recognized by the university.  All I wanted was a one-time meeting and to be able to walk off knowing that I have done my part and wasn’t being a total bitch about leaving them lost and screwing them over.  Honestly, I had a life and a shit-load of trouble to follow for me to deal with because there were other incompetent people making their problem as part of my life.  Yet, I spent countless hours preparing for the meeting, doing the research to make sure I was giving them the right information, digging for the past “legal” documents to pass on.  What did I get in return?  I’ll tell you what I got.

I had one of the missies over there backstabbing me behind my back, calling me a bitch because I had said specifically that I did not want anyone who was not part of the execs to show up since this was no social function, it was business.  And her reason for calling me that?  Because missy over there was asking her boyfriend to be her chauffeur, driving her all over town, yet couldn’t stay for the meeting so he was not happy with her.  How conveniently that turned out to be my fault.

Well, at least she asked.  The next one just showed up with his friend, who said she’ll leave in about half hour time, but in actual, she did not leave until she was told to leave the table.  And this one needs to be clear about what he is on the council.  Yes, he has the right to give his opinions about financial topics, but there is a fine line between giving opinions just for the sake of caring, and being over concern to the point where it makes you look suspicious.  What gets me even more curious is why he kept asking me if I was from the business school at York.  No, I’m not from that part of the campus because I can get into business management, climbing my way to the top without having gone to school for that.  Isn’t that what York hopes its graduates to be?  A well-rounded person who’s competent to give positive input into our ever-growing society?

The best part has yet to come.  I planned this meeting over a month ago, letting the old execs know 4 weeks in advance, and 3 weeks in advance for the new ones.  Let’s do the math here:  1 weeks = 7 days.  1 day = 24 hours.  So the old execs had 672 hours to plan their other events to attend to, while the new ones had 504 hours to do the same.  I get one telling me that he only sees his “girlfriend” twice a week, another one telling me he got a game to play in, and another one telling me she’s got a competition during the day.  Oh, the best one was, this one thought it’d be funny to lie to me saying he’s got somewhere to be @ 10pm, when in truth, he was just joking.  Did my face even look one bit amused when I found out?  So anyway, keep in mind the amount of time I gave them in advance for them to plan their oh-so-important lives.

Meeting was supposed to start @ 9 pm sharp, but for some absolutely hilarious reasons, it started @ 9:44 pm.  Mister joker over there was like, “So, what time did you get here, Iris?”

Quickly, I debated in my head, do I want to throw my phone at his head or do I just want to show him what time it is when he asked?  I ended up slamming my phone down onto the table and growled, “Do you really want to know when I got here?”

At this point, I was angry beyond belief.  There were so many times when I had just wanted to stand up, tell them that they were unbelievably irresponsible and immature, and just walk off.  But I didn’t.  I sat there, wasted money on a drink, just so I can pass on important information.  Yes, I said to them that I seriously regret having congratulated them for becoming execs because by showing up late, giving me lame excuses and showing up with guests, it just goes to show that they were not serious about the club at all.  Am I wrong to say so?  I think not.  Yet, there were people who thought so.

On the day of the meeting, a couple of hours before the meeting, mister over there tells me he can’t come to the meeting and that he got my e-mail just last week.  This mister over here, I had put up with for the year for his lack of leadership and his “reasons” for it.  So he doesn’t show up for the meeting, yet after the meeting, I get this lecture from him saying I had no right to tell these children that they were irresponsible.  No right?  If anything, he had no right to tell me that I had no right because when was he ever there for the club?  One of the new kid criticized, “It just looks wrong that only you & ******* were the only ones making the decisions for the club,”  Well, geez, kind of hard not to when 1) mister president over there is never there to get anything done that were part of his responsibilities and 2) his ass is on the courts more than on the sidelines doing the paperwork.

Another one said something similar, “You didn’t have to say that to them,”  I’m sorry, I’m no baby-sitter, I’m not there to treat them like the little children that they are, and I certainly don’t ever sugar coat things: I SAY WHAT I MEAN & I MEAN WHAT I SAY.  When I said, “No, I don’t trust you guys with the money & the club’s bank account,” I meant it, and I DO NOT need someone else adding it in for me, “What Iris meant was that she doesn’t want us to have the mentality that we have something to fall back on, she wants us to begin thinking we need to pull together funds,”

Old habits die hard, don’t they?  At the end of the meeting, the same missy who was backstabbing me just because her boy-toy couldn’t tag along to the meeting said to me, “Next time you are holding a meeting, you should send us an outline so it’s not so dry that we just sit here and listen to you talk.  It would give us some time to prepare,”

Oh?

Missy seemed to have missed something.  Remember how many hours I have given them the heads up about the meeting?  Yes, the whole 504 hours.  Yet, no one took the initiative to ask me to send them the meeting outline.  For fuck’s sake, do I really have to do everything for them?  Do they have the least bit of leadership qualities in them to ask me themselves for the outline?  They had 3 weeks to do this, they don’t do it, and now, it’s also my fault.

The latest drama: the club t-shirts.  I swear, if I have one more of them ask me about the t-shirts, I will just tell them to fuck off and deal with the mess they got themselves into.  Originally, I volunteered to have the box of club t-shirts @ my place because I was taking summer school, and the rest of the boys were oh-so-busy to give a shit about the club.  Of course, because I’m the girl, I had to do the organizing, right?  And how convenient that I am at school, even though I have a million things going on in my life, I still had to make time to deal with dumbasses who thinks just because he is male, I have to cater to them: waste my time and gas money to deliver the shirts to them when they are free.  Anyone had any idea how many times my parents bitched at me for having such a big-ass ugly dirty brown box sitting at my old house and new house?  “Why couldn’t you just give it back to them?”  Geez, because I love the club that much, mom, can’t you see that??

Summer school came to an end, and I got even more busy with working full time.  I have asked numerous times for the children to pick up the box of t-shirts from me, but each time I asked, they conveniently put themselves as “away” or “busy” and just could not answer my question.  Enough is enough.  I made the decision that on the day I am on campus to deal with another group of incompetent administrators, if no one comes to pick up the box of shirts from me, I will chuck out the box of t-shirts.  Oh, the amount of amusement I got out of it.

I had said specifically the time, the day, and my conditions in the e-mail, which I notified them a week in advance.  Just 2 days before the absolute deadline, I received an e-mail from miss backstabber over there asking for my address to pick up the t-shirts from me.  That same day, I get text messages from mister over-concerned-about-the-club’s-money asking for my address to pick up the shirts from me.  I thought, Am I missing something?  How could these children be execs if they cannot even read & understand in my e-mail that I WILL NOT BE GIVING OUT MY ADDRESS FOR MY OWN PRIVACY?

So on the day of, I waited…and waited…and waited…and waited.  No one.  Oh well.  Too bad.  Out goes the shirts.

But the fun doesn’t stop there.  I get a call from mister invisible bitching at me again saying that I’m just being immature and that I am just sick for playing this game.  Eh…as far as I know, I wasn’t playing a game, I meant what I said.  And I’m not sick.  You were all just not responsible.  Then mister over-concerned-about-money #2 e-mailed me, asking me yet again for my address to pick up the shirts and then went on to say to me, “Okay, let’s be mature about this:  who is that stupid to throw out $400 worth of shirts?”

Hmmm…I think he failed to answer his own question.

So that’s one group of incompetent people.  The other was the administrators at York.  I don’t know if she woke up on the wrong side of bed that morning, or if her husband/boyfriend dumped her during their lunch date, or if she was just plainly on crack that day when she was doing my degree audit, but she did it wrong and sent me on a road of mess.  Not only had I wasted $300 to apply for teacher’s college, I wasted a year because “I was ineligible to graduate” to get into the consecutive program.  Then I spend another $2000 to take courses which I though I needed to graduate by the end of summer, and later find out that my degree audit was done incorrectly.  Moreover, I was told that the courses I took this summer, which I did pretty well in, cannot be counted on my transcript because they changed my graduating status and didn’t bother to confirm with me that they did so.  Not only was my time & money wasted, my stupid OSAP loans have started accumulating interest because the university failed to report to OSAP that I was still taking courses in the summer.

Yet, all this time, the person who made this careless mistake did not bother to call me to apologize.  I e-mail the Dean of the Faculty of Science, Nick Cercone, asking to talk to him about his, hoping to get some justice out of this, and he doesn’t reply.  What is this?  You get paid by hundreds of thousands each year, yet, do the university really care about their students as much as they have claimed?

At the end of the day, where does all this leave me?  Several things:

1)  I really regret having chose York over University of Toronto.

2)  Just because the administrators of the university tells you something, don’t believe in everything they say because they could be on crack when they tell you so.

3)  People are just pure ignorant and inconsistent.  Those are the ones who would lie to your face and backstab you just to propagate unhealthy competition and piss people off.

4)  Because I did not get into teacher’s college, I found that I am actually good at something else.  After wanting to be a teacher since I was 3 years old, I realized that I can be something else.

Enough said.